Sometimes you just don't understand what's happening on you.

It's my second day now sitting like a dumb in this National Library and trying so hard to keep doing things that I obliged to do, but just can't find the right rhythm. I am trying like few months already. Not few months, to be exact it has been more than six months. I'm not just sit there and mourn, but I really did push myself, kicking my ass to finish what am I starting, but I just don't know what's wrong with me, I am still struggling so hard until the moment I'm typing this.

I know I was born for not being a quitter. But after graduated, my life has been in such a mess. I blame myself for not having proper vision, having no goals in what should I do next. I am at this stage where I face my mid twenty crisis. It really is currently a crisis to me. I don't know what the hell am I doing, what do I want in life, how should I live, what should I really be doing. I no longer think I manage myself to be independent anymore. When I started doing something, I failed to finish it. I do things halfway and dumped them, then repeat doing new kindof things and left, again. 

For the very first time in my life, I feel in a total mess, haywire. I discard myself, I really don't have any idea where am I standing right now and what am I doing here, right in this moment?

Should I just quit, again? I am really exhausted, I'm drained, serious talk. 

I feel like a loser.


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