What I Have & How I Appreciate.


"Let It Go"

From walking home and talking loads
To seeing shows in evening clothes with you
From nervous touch and getting drunk
To staying up and waking up with you

But now we're slipping at the edge
Holding something we don't need
All this delusion in our heads
Is gonna bring us to our knees

So come on, let it go
Just let it be
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me?
Everything that's broke
Leave it to the breeze
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me?
And I'll be me

From throwing clothes across the floor
To teeth and claws and slamming doors at you
If this is all we're living for
Why are we doing it, doing it, doing it anymore?

I used to recognize myself
It's funny how reflections change
When we're becoming something else
I think it's time to walk away

So come on, let it go
Just let it be
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me?
Everything that's broke
Leave it to the breeze
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me?
And I'll be me

Trying to fit your hand inside of mine
When we know it just don't belong
There's no force on earth
Could make it feel right, no

Whoa

Trying to push this problem up the hill
When it's just too heavy to hold
Think now's the time to let it slide

So come on, let it go
Just let it be
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me?
Everything that's broke
Leave it to the breeze
Let the ashes fall
Forget about me

Come on, let it go
Just let it be
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me?
And I'll be me

Really, how much I love this song, I don't want my love story to end up hopelessly. There are always ways to mend relationship, don't concludes and breaks the bond of two connected hearts. I will always love this song as a strong reminder.

I don't wanna be me and you being you. I want you and I to be just "us".




I laid my back and sighed, looking forward and took a deep glimpse towards the blank walls. People was rushing out to get home while I was still there, sitting, letting my mind in endless thoughts, trying to get a good grasp on what have been fed in that whole day. I took myself into seconds of short analysis of that day's lessons I learnt.

The bitter truth of love after marriage is the feelings does fades over time. 
Starting with "honey", "love", "sweetheart", 
Over time you'll left with just "hey you" and "____" - just your name. 
From romantic calls to frantic ones. 
From private, sweet vacations spent with just you and me,
We end up with spending our own time doing our own stuffs at different corners of the house - that we used to call it 'home'. 

We placed our vows to be in love then, now and forever. 
But as years passes by, we lose interests looking at each other's eyes like we used to,
From gentle, loving gestures, we turn into beasts - we scream high tones, slam doors, scatter clothes on the floor, holding anger, sleeping on different pillows under different blankets on different beds - what a cold, lonely nights we have.
Our hands no longer fits into each other's, the smile we ever had now is feeling so cocky.
Saying " I love you" seems awkward enough.
As time goes by, our gaps getting huge, our ways become separate ways,
There's huge walls building up, tearing us into two different paths.
We sits on different edge, not facing to each other.
We become two different persons,with two different life goals.

When it becomes unbearable for us to live together in two separate souls, no longer sharing dreams and hopes, we finally call it quits.

Dear love,
As your another half, I hereby promise you, my eternal feelings that won't fade over time, even though people around do not love each other anymore, even we are the only ones left with strong feelings that is not affected by time, dimensions and space. 

A promise is not for me to keep, but for me to carry out.

This I promise you, a loving glimpse that stays.
A concern that persists.
A smile that I only give to you for you to treasure.
A warmth that is only meant for you to feel.

Alhamdulillah for this gift I've been longing. I'm going to appreciate whatever I have now, and whatever has left for me to treasure, because I've been in that period of feeling hard to live without you, I know how did it hurt me deep, now that He's giving you back by my side, I won't waste any chance I have to give my best to do whatever it takes to keep you - to the one I love after my parents.

This was six years ago, but the soul within is the same one that I know.



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